In memory of Dozer – RecipeTin Eats

I held his paw and slept by his side for 14 days in hospital. But it turned out, all the love in the world wasn’t enough to save him. Thus begins the final post on Life of Dozer.

My dearest Dozer,

You came into my life in my arms, holding you protectively. And after almost 14 years together, I held you in my arms protectively again as I said goodbye.

I was sobbing so hard, I forgot everything I wanted to say to you in our final moments together.

So I started writing this letter to you, to say all those things.

I wanted to reminisce about our wonderful times – the thousands of visits to the dog beach, all the wonderful food we sampled together, the cuddles, the neck-scratching-sessions, our road trips.

I wanted to thank you for spreading the joy that is you with readers all around the world, for happily coming along with me to meet readers at events, book signings, fund raisers, lunches, dinners, not to mention TV shows, photo shoots, and my gosh, we can’t forget our stint on Play School!

But as I sit here, typing away with tears streaming down my face, I realise that’s not what I want to say to you.

What I want to say is thank you.

Thank you for giving me your whole heart.

Thank you for giving me your unconditional loyalty.

Thank you for loving me just as I am, for all my flaws, for never caring what I weigh, what I wear, what I look like.

Thank you for always being there, my one constant through the good and bad times.

Thank you for making me smile, even on the hardest of days.

And thank you for trying so hard to stay with me as long as you could, fighting to heal until your very last day. I will never forget how deep you had to dig to find the strength for your rehab walk on our final morning together.

I know that one day, I will be able to look at photos of you again without sobbing. And I know all this pain I am feeling is because I loved you so fiercely and completely, and I wouldn’t trade it for a second I got to spend with you.

But right now, four days after saying goodbye, it feels like the heartbreak will never heal, like I will never smile again.

Rest in peace, my darling Dozer. I will never forget you, and I will never stop loving you.

Love,

Your mum xoxo

Thank you SASH

To the vets and nurses at the Small Animal Specialist Hospital (SASH),

Thank you for the extraordinary care, skill, and kindness you showed Dozer. Every moment, from the medical expertise to the gentle reassurance and cheering him on, meant more to me than I can say. Knowing he was in such capable, compassionate hands gave me comfort during the hardest days. I will always be deeply grateful for everything you did for my beautiful boy. – Nagi x